Why God Lets Children Get Cancer – Part I

Dear TEAMS,

I was on Facebook yesterday and was posting an observation from one of Daddy’s friends who has a 2-year old son with brain cancer.  They have been battling it over a year, and the child has done the last experimental treatment possible…and the cancer came back.  The child has already had IQ points knocked off because of the brain damage caused by the aggressive chemo treatment that was necessary for the cancer...and now the child has cancer back anyway.  It is heartbreaking.

Anyway, Daddy’s friend said that he wished he had the luxury of being able to make a “normal” Facebook post about the bad traffic or politicians his disagreed with or a passing illness.  That struck me, because most of the people on FB who post those things are unaware that it is a luxury to only have those things to invest their emotional energy into.  So, I posted a status that reflected my observation.

One of the comments I received was from a childhood friend who said, “These are the things I plan to discuss with God someday!”  The comment struck me as odd, because my status was about putting things into perspective.  But upon reflection, I realized her comment reflected the hurt and anger she has at the way things are and seeing people she loves suffer.

I sent her a private message that told her that I cared that she hurt, and that I wondered about how it all worked together.  Here is an excerpt of my message to her:

I have no answers for you about the "whys." I ask them myself sometimes. Theologically, I suppose one could debate about a fallen world and God remaining true and submissive to his own laws, but in the end words and discussions really don't provide the comfort and healing that is needed instead.

There will be a point in your life that you will probably wonder about how, if God is so powerful and can do anything, why he would let young children get (and die of) cancer, or why bad things happen, or why if you prayed you didn’t get the answer you wanted.  If you don’t get to that point in your life, rest assured that people you care about will.  So, I wanted to tell you what I have been led to believe, which has comforted me in times of crisis and hopefully will empower you to comfort yourself and your friends.

Simply, look at the heart of the person (or yourself) as to why the question is being asked.  I have found that the person asking the “why” question usually falls into 2 camps:  the person is angry and hurting, or the person is humbly reflecting on the mystery of the nature of God.  Mostly, people fall into the former category.  I will tell you, though, that it has been my experience that the person will not be helped by the answer to that question.  They (or you) are deluding themselves if they think it will take away the pain.  Sometimes, the person is looking for a reason to hate God and just wants to finally have a reason, because deep down they know the academic answer (which I cover in my next blog).  The actual action that needs to happen is to come alongside the one you love and tend to the hurt, and the question becomes a non-issue because the real need the person has is being tended to. 

Practically, here are some things you can say to your loved one who is really struggling:

• You know, I ask the same thing sometimes!  I don’t have an answer for you right now, but I care and would like to walk through your pain with you.
• I don’t feel as if I can really talk about that with you right now.  But could we spend some time together over coffee?
• I can tell this really bothers you and makes you [sad/upset/angry].  I don’t blame you…it certainly is a good question.  Just know I care that you are [sad/upset/angry]. 

Love,