Checklist: You Know When You’re an Adult When…

Dear TEAMS,

This morning I woke up to crying.  E was downstairs, stomping around.  A few minutes later, I heard the Camry back up the driveway and she was gone.

Your father came up the stairs and I asked him what was up.  He told me that E was very tired and getting sick and she didn’t know what to do since she had to go to work, and she was mad at your father for (very wisely) not telling her to stay home.

Ah, the joys of adulthood!  When all of a sudden you realize that you are responsible for the big and little decisions of your life, and you are responsible for the consequences of the decisions no matter what.

Somewhere along the way, your father and I, without our knowledge or fanfare or celebration, became adults.  It wasn’t when we turned 18 or 21, it wasn’t when we went to college or got married.  It wasn’t even when we had kids.  These were all moments that contributed to our growing up, but not the actual turning point.  But, it happened nonetheless, and I’m glad of it.

Instead of talking about what the definition of an adult is, I thought it might be better to give you a few litmus tests you can compare yourself to know whether or not you qualify.  Beeteedubs (as M likes to say):  Just as you can’t know all the thrills and benefits of becoming a member to an exclusive club but you just join in faith it will be enjoyable, you can’t know how fulfilling all the benefits are to being an adult until you become one.  Your choice.

You Know You Are an Adult When:

1. (And this one I read once from someone wiser than myself) you do the right things even when no one is looking.
2. You are ready to accept consequences for your choices, good or bad.
3. You make decisions based more on how other people around you will be affected rather than how you will be impacted.
4. Sex, entertainment, or any pleasurable activity is not so you can be gratified but rather relationship-building with your spouse (sex) or friends and family.
5. You practice good hygiene and wellness practices for the purposes of taking care of your body to invest in the future and nothing else.
6. Having children is about them and not what you’ll get out of it.
7. You spend most of your days working and your free time in each day is spent on activities that are “others” centered.
8. You get enough sleep.
9. You understand that being wrong actually has nothing to do with anything.
10. You understand that humility is not the absence of pride, it is understanding who you are in relationship to who God is.
11. You have the capacity to earn and save enough money to support yourself and any dependents and that fact is extremely satisfying and desirable to you.
12. You value “old people.”
13. You realize that giving your opinion is less helpful all the time than saying “I care.”
14. How you feel is less relevant to you than what is right.
15. You are fairly certain that at any given moment, you “feel” things more purely and acutely than most people around you who are more expressive about their emotions, and yet you still have the capacity to care for what is troubling them and help them.

Love,