The Magical Wallet

Dear Child Who Will Remain Unnamed,

In response to your constant comments about how “busy” you are, I would like for you for one moment to picture this scenario:

Let’s pretend S wakes up every morning and has $16 in his wallet that magically appears as he sleeps.  It’s a wonderful thing, having $16 appear while he sleeps.  However, he has a few caveats about that money.

First, $9 of that money he is required to spend first thing every morning at 8:00 AM on an investment in gold.  Just like that, he pulls out $9, deposits it in a box that will automatically buy him gold, and the wallet now has $7.

Second, at 9:00 every morning, he must give me $1 of his $16.  Call it payment for having such a wonderful mother.  His $16, minus the $7 and $1 is now $6.

At 10:00 AM, a man comes to the door and demands $1.50.  In return, the man will do all of S’s personal hygiene for him and prepare his food and help him eat.  

By 11:00 AM, S has $4.50 with which he can do whatever he pleases.  If he wants to spend $1 to be entertained at the dollar movie theatre, that’s fine.  If he wants to spend $2 to exercise at a fitness club, that’s great.  But he only has $4.50, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Now, picture for a moment that S chooses to spend $2 every day on widgets.  He buys purple widgets, green widgets, brown widgets.  He plays with his widgets.  He has his friends over every day and they invent new uses for widgets.  It is widget-mania for S, and it’s all perfectly legal and fine.  After all, it’s his money.

Help me out here…if S one day started to complain about only having $2.50 left to spend on anything else he wants, what would you tell him?  I’m guessing you would tell him a few things in your very eloquent and sophisticatedly sassy way:

1. That maybe he has enough widgets.
2. That maybe he shouldn’t spend so much on widgets.
3. That what else should he expect, when he only has $4.50 to begin with?  Spending almost half of his available spending money on widgets, well, that’s his choice, but it seems like such a disproportionate amount for available funds.

And above all, I really think it would get old fast if night after night, evening after evening, he got really stressed that he only had $2.50 left to buy things with and that somehow we have to give him something else so that he has more money.

You are a very smart, wonderful child.  I’m sure you’ve figured out that in this story the dollars represent the time you are given by God every morning when you awaken.  The nine dollars represent work hours, the one dollar given to me represents the total of one hour spent on responsibilities around the house, and the $1.50 represents the hour and a half that has to be spent on personal hygiene, eating, and basic living.   

The two dollars?  Well, my dear, you know what that represents.  You have every right to spend your time doing that.  But when 8:30 rolls around every night and we are treated to yet another litany of how “busy” you are and how this is the first time you’ve sat down all day…well, frankly, honey, maybe you have enough widgets, maybe you shouldn’t spend so much on widgets, and what else should you expect, when you only have 4-1/2 hours of free time every day to begin with?  

Love,