Financial Responsibilities for Adult Children Living in Our Home

Dear TEAMS,

Three of you are now adults and facing very real facets of the grownup world.  One of those facets is being financially responsible for products you use for your own life.

In a previous post about our expectations for adult children still living with us, we talk about what you get for free by choosing to live under our roof.  The truth is there are actually a lot of financial responsibilities we spare you by living here at home.  For instance, our wonderful central air conditioning is thoroughly enjoyed on hot and humid summer days, and yet we do not ask you to assume any financial responsibility for it.  However, there are certain items we expect you to take financial responsibility for.  We aren’t being big, fat meanies.  We are trying to ease you into the cold realities of life.  We would be handicapping you if we didn’t give you the opportunity to budget for your very real needs.

The good news is that there have already been times in your teen years you got a taste of this.  For example, we bought shampoo and conditioner for you to use, and it tended to be inexpensive brands.  However, if you desired to have a different shampoo you felt was better for your hair or smelled better, you were required to spend your own money on that and had the right to mark it as your own private stash.  Further, when you began to drive, we created a monthly amount you owed us to defray expenses for gas and insurance.

Also, we started at age 6 talking with you about the value of saving.  Generally, our formula for birthday cash was to require you to calculate and pay your tithe first, allow you to keep 10-30% (depending on your age and also how much you had received) in your wallet, and the rest went into savings.  Once you got a job, it was always reminding you to pay your tithe, suggesting you keep $20 in your wallet for spending money, and the rest going into savings.  If the cash was gone before the next paycheck, we talked with you about how you might have spent your money differently to still have a little left over.  Because we started this early, the 3 of you who have made the 18 year old milestone have started out with a nice little savings account.

And about your tithe:  someone wiser than me once phrased it as, “God gives us 90% of everything we earn.  He only wants 10% back.  That’s such a bargain for what we get—90% to spend and the blessings from tithing.”

Items We Expect You to Pay For, Post 17:

• All personal hygiene items:  shampoo, conditioner, body soap, underarm deodorant or its substitute, toothbrush/toothpaste, mouth rinses, dental floss, facial soap, acne medication, feminine hygiene, comb/brush, hair accessories, hair products, makeup, hair dryers, curling irons, straighteners, etc.
• All supplies needed for your personal communication:  cell phone and plan, stationery, postage, pens, pencils, cards, etc.
• Any items for decoration of your personal space, including bulletin boards, decoration, etc.  Items that will go on our furniture or in our rooms you are using will be bought by us, and you will probably have input into that.
• All clothing and shoes
• All accessories such as purses, belts, wallets, jewelry
• Any fees for any school, sports, or clubs you are involved in
• College tuition and textbooks
• Entertainment:  going to the movies, movie rentals, going out to eat (unless we are going as a family—that is our gift to you), tickets to events, DVDs, CDs, iTunes downloads, etc.
• Gasoline and insurance private monthly payment to us continues
• Any food that is not purchased as part of our family grocery plan.  This is kept in our cabinets in order to keep insects or rodents out of other areas of the house, but you must mark it with your name.
• Your own car, once you are gainfully employed in a full time job.
• Laundry detergent and fabric softener, if you do not wish to use ours.  Fabric softener may only be used in our washer for sheets, not clothing.  (It is very hard on the machine and not really good for you in any way except olfactory delight!)
• If you commit to provide a meal or food item for a party or individual, you are responsible for shopping for, preparing, and paying for that meal or item
• Supplies for your hobbies or interests
• Gifts you give to other people
• Personal electronics such as cameras, iPods, etc.

Love,