Dear TEAMS,
In the last blog post, I shared about Jealousy and
understanding why we all feel it, and how to address it. This post is how to handle being a victim of
a jealous person.
I am on the other side of the equation now, with my own
version of Barbies and the Barbie townhouse.
I shared with your father yesterday that sometimes I feel guilty sharing
what I do in my statuses on Facebook. I
feel so blessed, and am so thankful to God for what he has given me with my
husband, 5 healthy children, enough food to eat and a nice house to raise you
in. But I guess there’s the kicker—I share
from a heart of thankfulness, knowing I have what I have only because of God’s
blessing. Joel Osteen calls this “wearing
your blessing well” and cites Psalm 35:27, The
Lord be magnified, Who delights in the prosperity of His servant. The point of this verse is to point to the
nature of God’s generosity and His character and His work, not that His servant
is prosperous (which is more than just financial). And in my heart and from my lips, I try to
always let people know that I am where I am because of His Grace in my
life. Some has just been gifts He has
given, but I think also that God set about the best way to do things in His
word and so my manifold choices of doing things His way over time has reaped some
of what I see around me.
I think that’s the #1 thing most jealous people (myself
included) fail to really get. They don’t
realize they have come in at the happily ever after part of the TV show, not
the parts that show the blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifice that has birthed
what is there. We live in a home with a
beautiful addition because we didn’t go on large family vacations, didn’t order
pizza and eat out a lot, and were careful with our money, even at the grocery
store. When we first moved in, we had a
tenant in the upstairs 2 bedrooms and the three oldest of you in one bedroom
and Daddy and me in the other with an unfinished basement. If someone is jealous of my home, they have
come in at the end of the story.
Your father and I have a great marriage of 23 years and
counting. Our first 10 years were
miserable, due to unmet expectations, pride, stress from having many small
children, and the strain of long work hours from your daddy’s job. There was a point that I was making plans to
leave your father and move back to Ohio.
The only thing that stopped me was God Himself almost audibly speaking
to me and telling me that doing that would take me further from Him, not closer. In tears, I submitted to His will, certain it
was a lifetime sentence of misery. If
someone is jealous of my marriage, they have come in at the end of the story.
E is a charming person, who is submitted to God’s will for
her life. Because of the training she
has received from us for healthy relationship between you all, she naturally
relates to males in a respectful, carefree way.
She knows her own mind and has personal goals in her adult life. All of these things make her attractive and a
“catch” to interested men. But we all
know the demons she has fought and has won/is winning against. We know that the past 7 years have been full
of anger, tears, and overcoming fear. If
someone is jealous of her, they have come in at the end of the story.
Sure, sometimes there is simply a Godsend, just the way
sometimes I go to the store and pick you up a shirt on sale, a candy bar, or
something unexpected that I give you out of my love for you which brings you
happiness. But most of life is not the
out-of-the-blue blessing, but the little choices made over time that reaped big
dividends. And, I would be disappointed
if you were pleased with my gift but then were embarrassed about it, tried to
hide or downplay it, or didn’t share about it with others with a heart of
thankfulness.
I encourage you all to consider this when you are feeling
jealousy stir. And when someone is
jealous of you, teach them gently that they came in at the end of the story.
Love,
