If This Was My Last Day on Earth

Dear TEAMS,

It has been 10 weeks since J’s death overseas.  I am still speaking with his family, mourning with them.  While I don’t really battle anymore with what his last moments were like—I’m fairly certain he didn’t have time to be afraid, nor ever knew what hit him—I do wonder about his morning.  Since he was killed on his way to work, he had only lived a few hours that morning.  Was it like every other morning?  Did he kiss his wife and kids goodbye as usual?  What about getting into the car…was he even thinking about what he was doing as he drove along, or was his mind lost in thought about bills to pay, or was he talking to God?

That got me to thinking about how many people who die never know it’s their last day on earth.  In fact, I don’t even know as I’m writing if today is my last day on earth.  But there are some things I would want to do if I could know:

If Today Was My Last Day on Earth…

1. I would linger the extra 30 seconds in the shower and feel the joy of the warm water, instead of hopping out to get to my next project.
2. I would earnestly repent for the daydream I had last night whereby bad people get kidnapped by some stealthy billionaire and dropped in the middle of the desert with a bottle of water.
3. I would set the oven timer to go off every hour and when it went off, I would look into each of my children’s eyes and tell them how much I love them and how glad I am I got to be their mommy, and I would text my husband the same about being his wife.
4. I would stop feeling guilty for all I didn’t accomplish.
5. I would pray that one last time for the people I know and love who don’t know the reality of Christ to truly discover who God is so that they would finally bow their knee to Him, so that I might be assured of a beautiful eternity for them.
6. I would find anything at all to laugh at and really laugh well.
7. I would make sure my Will was accessible to those who would need it.
8. I would walk around my house and stop in each room and just let the memories I have from them flood my mind, and I would smile and weep.
9. I would sit on the porch, shut my eyes, and try to figure out how many different birds there are around me right then, based on the bird calls.
10. I would write your daddy a letter, thanking him for sharing his life with me and for providing for me all these years, and I would tuck it under his pillow.

Perhaps I should consider each day as my last?

Love,